A line-by-line analysis of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe”
I threw a wish in the well, Don’t ask me I’ll never tell: She opens the song by establishing that she has no control over the situation. The act of throwing a wish in a well is an act of desperation...
View ArticleMiley Cyrus Mad Libs
Miley Cyrus has declared the act of intercourse to be “a beautiful and magical thing. …just in CASE you were wondering whether she was still striking terror in the hearts of parents of horny tweens...
View ArticleA line-by-line translation and analysis of Psy’s “Oppan Gangnam Style”
오빤강남스타일 Holy shit, is that a foreign language on the radio? Or is someone doing a poor imitation of Creed’s speech impediment? 강남스타일 Dear radio: making fun of speech impediments is not politically...
View ArticleA Line-by-Line Analysis of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ “Thrift Shop” ft. Wanz*
So the new Macklemore & Ryan Lewis album The Heist just dropped and basically it’s fucking awesome. I’ve decided to take a look at one of the more remarkable tracks off the album, “Thrift Shop.”...
View ArticleWorld’s Worst: Current Song Lyrics
Legend has it that if you put a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters, one of them would eventually write Shakespeare. But before they did that, they would type these song lyrics, as well as...
View ArticleGetting Ready For R. Kelly At Pitchfork: A Beginner’s Guide
The weekend is approaching, and you’ve bought tickets to Pitchfork 2013. Amidst all the band names that involve either A) Plural Nouns (Woods, Savages, Swans, Metz), or B) Something Foreign-Sounding...
View ArticleFlo Rida and Pitbull’s “Can’t Believe It,” As Narrated by Obi-Wan Kenobi
It was bound to happen. After years of systematically working their way into every song that could possibly be on the radio and simultaneously amassing both millions of haters and many more millions of...
View ArticleA Line-By-Line Analysis of Ylvis’“The Fox”
As you’ve no doubt heard and been horribly confused, shocked, or weirdly aroused by at this point, a Norweigian band named Ylvis has recently released a viral song dubbed “The Fox” that has one simple...
View ArticleA Line-by-Line Analysis of 2 Chainz’“Birthday Song”
If you’ve ever gotten caught up in the rap game like myself*, then you know how words can tragically get overlooked in favor of fancy beats and bass drops
View ArticleA Love Letter From a New York Intern – A “Hey There, Delilah” Send-Up
Hey there Delilah Things are great in New York City I can say I worked at Goldman Sachs To make my friends feel shitty Yes I can. I met this girl named Marianne, awesome guy named Dan Yep he’s a...
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